So, I got my concealed carry permit this week and yesterday for the first time I gave it a shot. I was interested to see what being in "Condition Yellow" constantly would feel like, whether I would feel exposed in public, if I would have an increased sense of self-confidence, whether I would actually feel safer etc. Let's go through my observations one by one.
First and foremost, the gun I conceal is not a tiny gun by any means. It is a CZ 75 Compact 9mm. It is an entirely steel gun, which makes it heavier for its size than comparable alloy or polymer framed guns, which are more popular when it comes to concealed carry (CC). The weight wasn't an issue at all. I wear the gun outside my waistband in a high-riding holster I had specially made for the gun and it doesn't feel like it is weighing me down particularly or my pants or anything. Also I found it very concealable, I wore it to home depot at night and my wife didn't even notice at all. The size is a bit cumbersome though, the gun holds a total of 15 rounds of 9mm (14 + 1) so the grips are somewhat thick, however, this Christmas I will hopefully be receiving a thin set of hardwood grips from my Wife, which will make that more "acceptable".
I carried the gun in "Condition Two". For a quick breakdown of the conditions of carry for a semi-auto pistol:
Condition One: A round is in the chamber, the hammer is cocked and the safety is engaged. This is also called "Cocked and Locked". Single Action only semi-auto pistols are almost always carried in this mode. My pistol can be carried in condition one, but I really don't like having a cocked pistol aiming at my thigh all day.
Condition Two: A round is in the chamber, but the hammer is down or at half-cock and the safety is not engaged (my safety can only be engaged if the hammer is fully cocked). Because my pistol is Double Action/Single Action, to fire it I would simply need to remove the gun from its holster and pull the trigger. I consider this more safe, because the trigger pull weight is significantly greater that when the hammer is not cocked, meaning that I would need to very consciously exert effort for the gun to discharge.
Condition Three: No round is in the chamber. The slide will need to be racked before the gun could be used. This isn't a bad option, and I may opt to use it in the future. Though it is generally viewed as an inferior way to conceal carry.
Wearing it at work (several co-workers conceal carry and most everyone knows it) was not even an issue. I work sitting down at a desk and don't move around too much, and honestly if anyone saw me they'd probably be like "Cool! Can I see!?". I'm not kidding about that. But even when I went to Smith's to restock on beverages I didn't feel like everyone was looking at me; I had a sweater on, but the imprint of the gun was recognizable and I still didn't feel particularly exposed. In fact, I really didn't feel like I was in "Condition Yellow" at all. It was like I was carrying a rather heavy pocket knife. I doubt anyone noticed at all. But then again, I mean, why would I be in condition yellow simply because I was carrying a gun? It isn't in a position that anyone would be able to grab easily so I didn't feel like someone might jump up and grab it.
Another item is that I didn't feel any safer with the gun than I did without it. This I kind of expected. I am only 25 and as such feel rather invincible. I suppose I need to make a late night run to 7-11 to see if I can appreciate its presence more. All in all it wasn't the transformative experience for me that is was for the Author of that article in Atlantic Weekly.
One aspect of my first venture in Conceal Carrying did come as a surprise however: I felt stupid. Yes... Stupid. The insistence to carry a gun at all times felt... juvenile. Like I had just earned my Totin' Chip card in boy scouts. Like I had to hold my nose just a little bit and wallow in the unrealistic fears and misguided world-view of the gun-loving community. I felt I was surrendering a small slice of my intelligence for the instant problem-solving capabilities of a loaded gun. (Not that I would be quick to rely on those capabilities.) At this point I would probably be willing to fight for my right to own a gun, but right now it is hard for me to see myself fighting for my right to carry a gun concealed in public.
I am going to continue carrying for the time being to see if I feel differently in different situations. Especially in social situations. I'll write about that when I have some more experience.
